How to feel confident when networking as a freelancer
Words: Fiona Thomas with tips from freelancer Kirsty Hulse (unpaid guest post)
Urgh, networking! It fills pretty much everyone with dread. Especially us freelancers who tend to live a life of solitude, only breaking silence once a day to say thanks to the postman or to congratulate ourselves on taking a shower. But the reality is that networking can be a really valuable way to build leads when you’re self-employed. The reason most of us avoid it is because we don’t feel confident, but that shouldn’t be an excuse once you’ve read this list of tried and tested hacks.
Get online (then take it offline)
As a freelancer, life can get pretty lonely. Not only can this affect your job satisfaction and day-to-day happiness, but it can also actually harm your ability to get more paid work too. Think about someone who works in an office. They are constantly interacting people on their commute, when they buy their coffee or in the staff room at work. The chance of them being offered an exciting opportunity is statistically greater just because they are putting themselves out there, even if they’re not doing it intentionally.
Networking on social media is great as a starting point and definitely helpful if you’re feeling a bit nervous, but if you find yourself chatting to people who live locally then make an effort to take that connection offline. If you’re not confident about a face to face meet meet-up then take control by choosing a venue you like and write up a list of topics you want to talk about. Politely mention that you need to leave after an hour (say you’ve got another meeting) and that will give you an easy escape route if you’re feeling uncomfortable.
Remember, people do business with people, and once you’ve looked someone in the eye and enjoyed some coffee and cake together you’ve forged a connection way stronger than any online back and forth.
Use your nerves to your advantage
The natural feelings of anxiety that come with being in a networking environment can be hard to ignore, but try to remember that this is a biological response and can be a force for good. The type of hyper-arousal and adrenaline rush that comes before an event is actually very powerful at helping us perform at our best.
Some studies even show that athletes who experienced anxiety got better results than those who didn’t. Don’t ignore your nerves before you go into a networking event, just minimise them by controlling the things you can like limited caffeine, wearing a comfortable outfit and arriving in plenty of time to the venue. Of course, if you do find networking stressful, do pay attention to your mental health (and give this blog on supporting your mental health a read too)
Focus on the opportunity
The worst networking interactions are always with people who are trying too hard to network. You know the type. They systematically work their way around every single person in the room reciting their credentials and handing out business cards. The best connections are always going to be the ones that happen organically, so talk to people on a genuine level from the get go.
“Focus on the opportunity rather than the act” says Kirsty Hulse, confidence coach and author of The Future is Freelance. “Networking always makes my skin crawl at first but once I’ve spoken to someone for a few minutes it always ends up feeling quite nice” “It’s used a lot in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It’s about taking a helicopter view of your situation to get some perspective”
So the next time you’re feeling anxious at a networking event, take a moment to imagine how you’ll feel about this in a week or a year. The good news is that any icky feelings will fade away and you’ll still get the benefits of having had a slightly cringeworthy conversation.
Dress the part
We don’t have to dress up as freelancers but that doesn’t mean you can’t! You don’t have to dress up completely but investing in style pieces can make a real difference-whether that’s teaming up a t-shirt with a women’s tennis necklace or wearing a killer pair of heels.
Play the long game
It’s not about signing up new clients on the spot either. It’s about opening yourself up to the idea that random conversations can quite often lead to new opportunities. Or as Kirsty puts it “you can increase your sails to catch the winds of luck” by doing more networking. All aboard!
If you get talking to someone and it seems like there’s no logical reason for you to stay in contact, don’t write them off straight away. You just never know when they — or someone in their circle — might need your services. And if you’ve stuck in their memory because you had a friendly conversation then you’re going to be at the top of their list.
Take this up a notch by adding everyone you meet on LinkedIn or Twitter and sending them a message to say that you enjoyed talking to them.
Ask the right questions
Although you shouldn’t be working with a list of the same questions for every new person you meet, it is worth considering that types of questions you ask when you are networking. Kirsty says she never asks people what they do for a living. Why?
“Because it’s a question I hate being asked myself, because I have a lot of strings to my bow and it’s hard to answer.”Instead, Kirsty will ask you about your Netflix recommendations or what your weird hobbies are. “Say you were there for a book launch then ask people what they like about the book. I think asking what someone does is a fairly reductive way to speak to someone”
I have to agree. My favourite thing is to ask people about how they did their hair or where they bought their outfit. I recently asked a woman if I could see a picture of her dog and she was over the moon. Side note: a compliment to a stranger is always a good way to introduce yourself!
I hope these tips are useful. For more tips on